Smile through the Rain
by stephfarrow94
Summary: When Dino finally gets Squalo out of an abusive relationship, the only thing left to do is try and rehabilitate the damage caused by the mental and emotional strain. Dino x Squalo DS yaoi, AU
1. Chapter 1

If there was one thing that the long-haired man known as Squalo Superbia had grown to resent, it was the front door to his home opening, whether it be by his hand or his partner's; no matter which one of them stepped through that threshold, the same thing always ensued.

"Oi, you shitty shark!"

Squalo had been seated downstairs in the living room, curled up on the couch with a blanket covering him, the fireplace opposite him not doing much to warm the house so soon after being lit. He dropped the book he had been reading to the floorboards, tensing his body as the familiar drunken shout echoed through the house. Shouting back, the man tried his hardest to keep calm; he would only further aggravate the situation if the older male knew he was getting a rise from the other. "What?"

As expected, footsteps thundered through the entrance hall and into the living room, the raven-haired man known as Xanxus glaring with red eyes full of loathing. He stood there for a few seconds more before he stomped further into the room, closing the distance between he and the long-haired male. He sneered as he drew a loud yelp of pain from his lover, having ripped on a handful of silver strands hard enough to snap Squalo's head to the side.

"Fuck off, you asshole!" Squalo had never been good at keeping his temper, and with everything he had been put through for the past eighteen years by his boyfriend's hands, he wasn't sure he even had any patience left in him. "Don't touch me!"

Leaning down close enough for his hot breath to billow over the younger's ear, the stronger male hissed, "Didn't I tell you not to do stupid shit like reading anymore? I've already explained it to you once before; you don't leave that fucking bed for anything; you lay naked for me all day every day; it's all you're good for, you whore."

Swinging his fist towards Xanxus, Squalo's stomach dropped when the other moved out of the way; he knew what he would get for so much as thinking about hitting the man, but it was worth it; he wasn't the kind of person to just sit back and let himself be treated so badly. "I'm not a fucking whore! You're the one who goes out and cheats on me!"

The dark-eyed man bit down on his lip as his body jerked in pain, knowing his face was going to be swollen the next morning with how hard he had just been punched - it didn't matter anymore; it would go nicely with all the bruises that adorned the pale skin.

"Don't you ever raise your hand to me again, you little slut!" Bringing his knee upwards, the assaulter took every last breath away from his lover after connecting it as hard as he could with the man's stomach. He then backhanded the younger hard enough to send him sprawling across the floor, small specks of blood coating the floorboards. "I should shoot you here and now!"

Lifting his head, Squalo glared back in defiance. He lifted a hand to wipe at his mouth, wincing at the blood that clung to his skin from the action. "Do it. I don't care; it won't be the first time you've done it."

A sick sneer crossed Xanxus' face as he moved closer to the fallen male. He kicked out, the younger rolling across the floor with his action, fresh rivers of blood pouring down Squalo's face. "Get in bed, trash."

"No." Holding a hand to his face, the long-haired male tried to push himself into a sitting position, only to have the world spin uncontrollably.

Snatching silver hair back into his fingers, Xanxus pulled again. "What did you just say?"

"I said no!" Trying to move away from the other, Squalo looked to the ground. "I'm not doing it! Fuck off!"

Kicking at the other again, Xanxus dragged the now-writhing man across the ground and towards the entrance hall. He ignored the other's shouts, intending on getting what he wanted, and nothing Squalo could do or say would change his mind.

**~~XX~~**

Hazel eyes opened to the sound of a phone ringing somewhere in the pitch black of Dino Cavallone's bedroom. The blond man pushed himself up on his elbow as he reached across to the bedside table in a tired manner, groping blindly for his phone. Grabbing the device, the half-asleep male blinked as he looked at the caller ID, not surprised to find his best friend's name on the screen.

Hitting the answer button, Dino placed the phone at his ear, concerned as to what he was about to hear; for eighteen years he had tried his hardest to get the younger out of that relationship, but for whatever reason, Squalo wouldn't leave. "Squalo...?"

A sob answered the blond man before Squalo spoke in a voice choked with tears. "B-bucking Horse..."

"Squalo, are you okay?" More alert now, Dino sat up fully in his bed, knowing he had to be there for his friend. "What's happened?"

"...Can you come get me...?" It was rare for Squalo to cry, much less to ask for help; he was one of the most prideful persons Dino had ever met, so something must have gone worse than usual.

"Yeah, I'll be there in fifteen minutes, Squalo. Where are you now?" Slipping himself out of bed, the blond moved to haphazardly throw a sweater over his torso before searching for shoes.

"...Living room..." The man on the other end of the line was speaking far quieter than usual, and Dino knew this behaviour well enough to know Squalo was trying his hardest not to draw his boyfriend's attention. "Xanxus' sleeping..."

"Whatever you do, don't give him reason to wake up. I'm on my way now; I just need to get my keys." Listening to his friend murmur goodbye, the man reluctantly ended the call; who knew what could happen in the time it would take to get there?

**~~XX~~**

It felt like forever before Dino finally arrived back at his home with Squalo in tow, and now that he had ushered the younger into the living room and turned the light on, he was finally getting a good look at his best friend; Squalo's face was covered in bruises and swelling rapidly, dried blood caking the side of his face from what seemed to have come from a nasty gash on his forehead. His lip was bruised and bleeding, dribbling down his chin slowly, and the white button-up pyjama shirt he was wearing had blotches of the red bodily fluid all over it. He limped badly, wincing every time he put weight on his left leg, and he held his left arm close to him, almost as if it hurt to let it hang down by his side.

"Squalo..." Hazel eyes softened at the sight of the younger, not knowing what to do; they were both thirty-two, and if Squalo didn't want to leave Xanxus, the blond couldn't force him. "Squalo, leave him; look at what he's doing to you..."

Silver hair stained with blood shook as Squalo refused. "I can't..."

"Why not?"

Looking away, the smaller male mumbled, "I love him..."

"Yes, I know you do, Squalo, but he doesn't love you; look at what he's_ doing _to you."

"He was drunk this time; he'd been out drinking and fucking around; I guess I just pissed him off without even trying again."

"He doesn't even have to be drunk to do things to you, Squalo!" Dino felt as if he were at the end of his rope dealing with this; he just wished that his friend would understand he needed to leave that relationship now before it was too late. Reaching out to run his fingers through the younger's hair, the blond felt as if his heart was breaking at the way Squalo flinched violently, pulling away before that hand could come anywhere near him. "Squalo..."

The long-haired man cracked open an eye to glare lazily at Dino, just too tired for this conversation anymore. "Let me stay here tonight, Bucking Horse..."

Dino nodded; he would never turn the other away when he so desperately needed help. He stood up, looking around the large living room to the hallway off to his left. "Let me just get the first aid kit for you, Squalo."

Squalo nodded, making himself comfortable on the soft black couch. He let his eyes slip closed, wrapping his uninjured arm around him._ Xanxus... What did I do to make you hate me so much...? _

Dino didn't take long at all to come back and clean out the younger's superficial wounds in silence, neither of them knowing what to say; the blond just wanted to save his childhood friend whilst said friend just didn't understand what had gone wrong in his relationship.

"I think you need to rest now, Squalo." Helping the smaller male to his feet and pretending he didn't see Squalo flinching as he came closer, Dino tried his hardest to remain calm, hoping that if the abused male were to get some sleep, he would let the blond help him again tomorrow. "You can take the spare room; it's all set up for you."

Squalo nodded, pulling away from the stronger male. He uttered a soft goodnight before he headed to the hallway, tracing the route that would take him past the kitchen and into the spare bedroom next to Dino's.

While hazel eyes watched the long-haired male's departure, Dino could only hope his friend would come to his senses soon enough, but not even an hour later, as he lay in bed and listened to the sounds of Squalo crying and struggling with nightmares, he wasn't sure it would ever happen.

If Squalo had stayed with someone so abusive for eighteen years without fail, then him leaving was probably nothing more than wishful thinking.


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning, Dino stepped into the guest bedroom he had lent his best friend the night previous. Squalo was curled up in the sheets, his back to the older male. His long, silver hair flowed languidly over the mattress, nothing but the soft breathing and slight rise-and-fall of the man's body showing that he was still alive.

"Squalo?" Stepping through the room that bared nothing but a double bed and a chest of drawers pushed to the other wall, Dino stood by the silk blue blankets. He reached out, placing his hand on the younger's shoulders, only to have the damaged man jerk away as if he had been burned by the touch. "Squalo, are you hungry?"

"..." Rolling slowly over to his other side, Squalo's bruised face frowned up at the blond. "I'm not hungry..."

"I'll make something special for you." Gentle hands brushed silver strands of hair out of dark eyes, Dino's heart breaking at the fear that filled said orbs at the action; had it really been so long since Squalo had been shown kindness, he couldn't help but fear even the slightest of touches? "I'll cook you some pizza for breakfast, and a cup of coffee as well. Or would you rather go out for breakfast? I'm sure there's something we could do to hide those bruises. Would you like that?"

"I'm not wearing fucking makeup!" Squalo snapped, not wanting to be seen with such feminine things; he was already treated like a girl by Xanxus and he didn't want to give anyone else reason to treat him any differently – he'd rather leave his bruises unconcealed and have everyone see them than _dare _put a splash of makeup on his skin.

"Alright, alright." Raising his hands into the air, Dino tried to diffuse the situation, knowing just how easily angered Squalo could become; he had always been agitated by little things, but the abuse had only made him worse. "Then what do you want to do, Squalo?"

"..." Glaring down at the ground, the long-haired man knew Dino wasn't going to leave him alone any time soon; he may as well just go along with it because the more he tried to stay in bed, the more the blond was going to push him to get out and have breakfast. "...Fine, then. Take me out for breakfast or some shit; I don't fucking care anymore."

"Where do you want to go?"

"Don't fucking care! Just choose somewhere if it means that fucking much to you!"

Dino could only smile at his friend's attitude, never able to take it personally; Squalo had been through so much, it was expected. "Alright, Squalo. I'm going to go have a shower. I'll be out soon if you want to have one yourself."

Muttering to himself, Squalo rolled back onto his other side so that he was facing the wall. He tugged the blankets over his head as he said, "Wake me up when you're ready..."

The older male sighed, but he didn't push; Squalo didn't deserve to be treated so badly – the man copped enough from his boyfriend as it was. "Have a good rest, Squalo."

The younger didn't reply; he just laid where he was, trying to force himself back into a restless sleep.

_**~~XX~~**_

After having gotten Squalo in the car, equipped with a scarf, a hat, and dark glasses to try and hide the bruising, Dino had convinced him to go and get makeup to try and hide the injuries.

Now, walking through the drug store, Squalo stuck close to his friend. He trembled uncontrollably whenever strangers would brush against him, glaring hatefully at them. He chewed at his cheek whenever stares lingered on him for too long, clenching his hands as he struggled with his entire being to keep himself from screaming at them; he knew that making a scene would only draw more attention to him, and that was the last thing he wanted.

"Here."

Squalo looked at Dino as the older male stopped by a display stand. He grimaced at the smell of perfume, having never imagined himself so much as stepping _foot _in this kind of area. He sent a hateful glare to the blond before he moved forward, heading towards the makeup a little towards the back.

"What the fuck do I use?" Scrunching his nose up in distaste, dark eyes scanned the dozens of different items, having no idea what any of them were used for; this was something they should have brought his friend for, said friend seemingly knowing every little thing about makeup and other feminine products.

Dino reached out, picking up a small palette of eye shadow. He frowned, not sure what to get either. He knew they'd need to ask one of the workers, but Squalo wouldn't appreciate that at all; he'd resent for someone to see the result of his abuse, let alone try and offer assistance he didn't want. "Could you give Lussuria a -?"

"- Can I help you?"

Dino glanced at the curly-haired brunet woman who had approached them, clad in a worker's uniform. She glanced at Squalo for a brief second before she winced and turned back to the taller male, shifting uncomfortably.

"Umm..." Turning to look at his friend, Dino wasn't sure how to answer; he wanted the woman's help, but he knew the younger well enough to know it would only infuriate Squalo if he accepted. "...We should be fine, thank you; he'll just give his friend a call."

"Ah, but if it's easier for you, I can –"

"- Fuck off, you stupid bitch!" The long-haired man snapped, not caring any longer for the eyes that had turned to stare at him; he didn't want her help – he didn't want _anyone's _help. "He said I'd call someone, and that's not _you_! Fuck off, you dumb slut!"

"Squalo!" Moving to get in between the two, Dino sent his friend a horrified look; the worker had done nothing but try to help; she didn't deserve to get screamed at like this. "Squalo, stop! Just go call Lussuria, alright? It's fine; you're fine."

"I'm not doing shit! This bitch should realise that not everyone wants her fucking help, and when she's fucking told no, it means _no!_" As angry as Dino knew Squalo was, he also knew why the younger was talking like this; he went through so much in his life, it was no surprise his resentment towards the things Xanxus did to him came out during his interactions with other people.

"Squalo!" The blond could see that the worker was close to tears, and he wanted nothing more than to help them both; it wasn't in his nature to let others be hurt. "Squalo, stop! Call Lussuria and get him to help you; you don't need to say anything more – you've made your point."

The long-haired man scoffed before he pulled his phone out of his pocket. He slid his finger across the screen of his phone to unlock it, sending a loathing look to the woman as he did so. He watched as Dino walked her away from the section, hating how kind his friend was; the blond should have just left her to cry – she deserved it after sticking her nose where it doesn't belong, after all.

Making the call he wished he never had to make, Squalo raised the phone to his ear, swallowing his pride for just that moment; he had never wanted it to come to this, but what choice did he have?

_**~~XX~~**_

"Are you sure they're not noticeable?" Squalo sighed, pushing his coffee away; the two were sitting in a corner of a cafe, the man's bruises having been covered by makeup; they weren't as noticeable now, having been instructed by his friend to find a colour that worked with his skin tone.

"Not unless you're looking for them," the blond promised, soothing his friend's worry. "You can hardly even tell you're wearing makeup, as well; don't worry so much."

Squalo nodded, not sure he wanted to finish his breakfast; while he had never been much of an eater, preferring to nibble at small snacks rather than devour huge meals, his appetite had only continued to dwindle over the years to the point he just didn't feel hungry anymore.

"What are you doing about Xanxus?" Dino knew he was treading a sensitive subject, but he needed to know what the other was doing; did he need to take Squalo back to his own home where further abuse waited for him? Or did he need to give the younger the guest bedroom permanently? He truly hoped it was the latter, but Squalo was one of the most stubborn people he knew – eighteen years of abuse had proved this.

"..." Looking out of the window to watch passersby walk through the busy streets, the man scowled. His mind was whirling at the question, wanting nothing more than to escape the treatment he hated so much, but also struggling to find the strength to leave his most loved one; was it so bad that he still had hope that their relationship might one day go back to what it once was instead of this ill-treatment?

But Squalo was tired; truly tired. He wore jackets constantly, no matter how hot, to hide this fact; he could deal with people seeing the injuries Xanxus had inflicted on him, but one thing he would _never _allow _anyone _to see – with the exception of said boyfriend who forced himself onto the younger _every single day _– was the self-inflicted scars that littered what felt like every inch of his body; he had scars covering all the way up from his wrists to his forearm, his stomach was marred with criss-crosses, and his thighs resembled an unfortunate human that had been mauled by a pack of tigers.

Xanxus always commented on these wounds, sneering in amusement when he saw them, and Squalo _knew _the stronger male understood they had been inflicted because of _him_.

"...I'm tired, Dino..." Dropping his head to the table, Squalo struggled with the fatigue that plagued him daily. "I'm so tired..."

"I'm sure you would be, Squalo..." Sipping at his own coffee, hazel eyes fixed on the abused male carefully. "I'm sure you would be... Why don't you just have a few days with me? Get away from Xanxus for a while?"

"It'll only piss him off more... He's going to skin me alive when I get home today anyway..."

"You need to recuperate, Squalo; just stay with me for a while and think about what you want to do; you know I won't force you if you want to go back to him."

Squalo nodded, knowing it was true; Dino couldn't _stand _Xanxus' abuse, but he knew his place – the older male knew that what was going on in Squalo's life wasn't his problem and respected that.

But... A few days away from the same routine _did _sound good... Even if it would only make things worse for Squalo...

"What-fucking-ever..." Closing his eyes, Squalo tried his hardest to not think about the abuse that would befall him the next time Xanxus got his hands on the silver-haired man. "Just... Just don't fucking bother me all the time... I want _peace, _ Bucking Horse... I'm not a fucking social bee like that faggot, Lussu, so don't expect anything more than me tolerating you!"

"Of course, Squalo." Dino smiled in understanding; Squalo never _had _been big on people; he liked having his own space and being left to do what he wanted – and after what he was going through, he was more than deserving of being left to have quiet time by himself.

"I promise I won't be a bother, Squalo."

"Fucking good..."

Drinking a bit more of his coffee, Dino knew it was time to get Squalo back to his house to let the younger get a bit of rest; he was stressed enough as it was without being forced into things when he just wanted to be left alone.


	3. Chapter 3

Dino wasn't surprised when Squalo refused lunch as well, just glad that the other at least seemed comfortable curled up on the couch with a blanket around him. The younger male was watching the TV in silence, dark eyes often taking on a faraway look, as if he were barely paying attention to what was around him.

"Hey, Squalo?" Getting up from the chair across from his guest, Dino placed a gentle hand on his friend's shoulder. He tried not to acknowledge the flinch he had been rewarded with, instead saying, "I need to get to work; I got called in while we were still out for breakfast."

"I didn't hear your phone ring." The younger sneered, holding his blanket tighter; part of him was afraid that Dino wanted to leave him, but the more stable side of him understood it was simply the blond's job requiring him and that Dino wasn't going to abandon him; he had long-since grown used to people leaving him, and it had become a phobia of his he would _never _tell anyone about.

"It rang while you were in the bathroom; one of the science teachers had to go home." Wishing he could stay here and keep Squalo company, Dino was hesitant to leave his friend's side; he had wanted to say no to his boss, but he loved his job and knew he didn't really have a choice in the matter; who else would teach the students if he didn't come in? "Are you okay here by yourself?"

A tired expression crossed Squalo's face at this, as if he expected for Dino to leave him no matter what he said. "I don't fucking care..."

Before Dino could reply, his friend's phone rang. Dark eyes softened as they noticed the caller ID, his fingers tapping accept before he raised the phone to his ear.

"What, brat?" There was a hint of affection in the younger male's voice as he addressed the caller.

"Squa~!" A silky voice laced with excitement greeted Squalo, one the man knew very well. "I miss you~ Can I come see you? Please~?"

"I'm not home, brat." A tiny smile graced the man's face at this, his demeanour softening ever-so-slightly.

"Oh~ Where are you, then?" The curiosity in the other's tone was strong, and Squalo could picture the way his caller would be staring in wonder, as if he had been told a most amazing thing; this person in question had always been curious by nature, a childlike innocence about him.

"I'm at Dino's."

"Then I will be there soon~" Leaving no room for argument, the other ended the call, leaving Squalo to slip his own phone back into his pocket as he regarded his friend with a slightly amused look.

"I apparently won't be alone while you're working," the abused male said quietly. "Bel seems to have invited himself over now that he knows Xanxus isn't around."

Dino smiled, knowing just how much the younger's caller looked up to Squalo; Belphegor was a young man who had known the silver-haired man since he was eight. Having been removed from his abusive home by child protection, he hadn't had much of a childhood at all, hadn't been quite certain how to be a kid, but if there was one thing he had loved, it was following Squalo around everywhere with his fingers curled tightly into the back of the older male's jacket as if he feared his favourite person would disappear if he didn't anchor himself to Squalo.

"It's been a while since you've seen him, hasn't it?" The teacher cocked his head to the side, his hazel eyes glinting with gentleness. "He certainly loves spending time with you."

Squalo shrugged. "He knows not to come to my house unless Xanxus isn't home; I don't... want him to see anything and have to remember..."

Leaning down to embrace his friend, Dino smiled. "You've always taken such good care of him; it's no wonder he grew up to be so happy."

"I'd be kicking myself if I did anything to hurt him further."

"I had better finish getting ready and then leave. Ring me if you need anything, Squalo."

Humming in response, the dark-eyed man turned his attention to the TV, waiting for the inevitable moment Belphegor showed up; his "admirer" was stubborn, and if there was something he wanted, he made sure he got it in the end, no matter how long it took.

_**~~XX~~**_

"Squa~"

Squalo looked up from the magazine he had been flipping through, finding his visitor approaching in excitement, a much smaller teenager trailing behind. "About time you showed up, shithead."

Jerking his thumb behind him, the tousle-haired blond grinned before saying, "I had to pluck a froggy out of the pond before I got here."

Raising a hand in silent greeting, the tiny boy standing in the doorway looked over at the older two with blank emerald eyes.

"Hey, Fran." Knowing that Belphegor and Fran had quite the peculiar relationship, Squalo often wondered why the two spent so much time together when they were always antagonising the other; to people who didn't know any better, it almost seemed as if they hated each other. "Long time."

Fran nodded as he came closer to the oldest male, his expression non-existent as always. "Stupid-Senpai said he wanted me to come."

"I'm not stupid, frog!" Belphegor snapped as he made himself comfortable on the couch next to Squalo. He turned to smile innocently up at the taller male, his obscured eyes drinking in the bruises and cuts that adorned his hero's face. Reaching out, he ghosted his fingers against the marring in the same manner Squalo had soothed his own injuries, remembering clear as day how comforting it was to know he wasn't going to be hurt again. "Squa should come live with me instead~ His face is too pretty to be hurt like this."

Blushing ever-so-slightly at the younger's words, Squalo said, "I don't want to live with you because then I'd have to put up with the faggot all the time. When are you going to move out, anyway? You're twenty-six; too old to still be living with your guardian."

Belphegor pouted as he laid down, resting his head on the man's lap. "I don't want to move out, Squa. Besides, Lussu said I might still not be ready to live on my own."

Frowning, Squalo wished he had kept his mouth shut; Belphegor was indeed not ready to be by himself, and bringing it up would only make the blond feel bad about himself.

Clearing his throat, Squalo instead said, "...Yeah... Maybe he's right..."

Fran, who had been so quiet from beside them, spoke up. "Senpai just doesn't want to leave because he gets babied by Lussuria. He'd have to look after himself and stop being lazy if he didn't have his own personal slave."

Belphegor made a snobbish sound as he stuck his nose up in the air. "You're just jealous that your stupid pineapple makes you pull your own weight around the house while Lussu lets me lay in bed and play videogames all day."

Squalo snorted as he reached down, threading his fingers through soft golden hair. Belphegor purred as he moved closer, closing his eyes as he felt more relaxed than he had in a while; he loved his guardian, but no one could compare to Squalo.

"Why don't you sit, Fran?" Knowing that Fran had always been the flighty, reserved type, Squalo was always careful not to encroach on his personal space. "There's plenty of space."

Fran hesitated to do as suggested, and when he did, he did it in a wary manner, careful to keep distance between them.

Looking down at the blond in his lap, Squalo smiled at the younger's soft noise of contentment. "Found anyone you're interested in yet, Bel?"

The younger made a shy noise as his cheeks reddened. He twisted before he rolled into his side, burying his face against the man's stomach. "Well... Mammy is really pretty... But I don't think she is interested in anything but money... Hayato-kun is really attractive… But he doesn't like me very much… And you're pretty, too, Squa~ But you're already with Xanxus... The froggy is cute, but he's too irritating for me."

"Senpai is too much of a fake for me to be interested in, anyway," the teal-haired boy retaliated.

"Oi!" Belphegor lifted his head, scowling at the teenager. "I am not!"

Squalo smirked, always finding their banter amusing. "Come on, guys; just admit you each have the hots for each other."

"I don't have the hots for anyone," Fran started. "And it's not my fault Senpai is too much of a coward to ask anyone out, much less sleep with someone. He can't even watch porn or use his own hand most of the time; he's useless and no one will ever want him."

When Belphegor made a pained noise at these words, Fran knew he had crossed the line; if there was one thing that the blond couldn't handle having made fun of, it was his clear-cut case of trauma that prevented him from truly getting close to people.

Fran didn't show any emotion as he watched the older male hide his face against Squalo's stomach, and though he felt a tad bad at upsetting the other, he didn't apologise; it just wasn't in his nature to say sorry.

"It's alright, Bel," the long-haired man promised. "He didn't mean it; it's okay if you're still scared of sex and relationships; you can go at whatever pace you're comfortable with."

When silence answered him, Squalo just sighed; so much for a peaceful evening with the blond.

_**~~XX~~**_

Sitting at the desk in the classroom, Dino tapped away at his laptop's keyboard; his students were working well by themselves, leaving him to continue on with his reports.

_I hope Squalo's doing okay,_ Dino thought to himself. _At least he's out of Xanxus' hands for a while and with Belphegor instead. _

While Dino truly didn't mind leaving Belphegor and Squalo together in his own home, he couldn't help but feel a bit jealous - but _why_ was he jealous? Because Belphegor had held a crush on Squalo ever since he was a little boy? That was no reason to be jealous! Belphegor had never pursued any of his - admittedly, handful of - interests, and if anything, the blond's crushes needed to be supported and encouraged for him to become healthy enough to have a relationship; if Belphegor wanted to crush on Squalo, that was fine with Dino because he knew it would never go anywhere on either side.

So why was this feeling growing? Because it hurt him to know that Belphegor could be so open about his feelings because he knew he wouldn't be hurt for it? That Squalo _acknowledged _the younger's feelings? Dino himself had once tried to pursue his best friend when they were teenagers, but Squalo had been oblivious to the blond's interest and instead had acted on his own romantic feelings and dated Xanxus.

Sighing to himself, Dino shook his head; it probably didn't matter if Squalo knew how the older male felt about him or not; it was clear nothing anyone did was going to get him away from Xanxus and into a relationship where he would actually be _loved_.

_**~~XX~~**_

"About time you came back."

Dino looked over his shoulder from where he had been hanging his coat off the rack. "Ah… Yes, I got caught up with helping a few students after class."

Squalo shrugged, threading his fingers through soft blond locks; Belphegor had fallen asleep on his lap, and the man hadn't the heart to wake him again. Fran was still seated beside them, reading a book he had picked off of his host's bookshelf; he had always been easy to amuse, so he didn't mind the silence that had filled the house since Belphegor had fallen asleep. "Doesn't matter… Been watching TV…"

"Do you want me to put him in the spare bedroom?" Leaning down by the couch, Dino caressed his fellow blond's cheek, holding his hand still when the younger nuzzled his palm unconsciously. "He'll be more comfortable in a bed."

"He's fine like this." Unwilling to part with the younger, Squalo shook his head; it wasn't often that Xanxus allowed him to see his friends – in fact, Xanxus _never _allowed him, so it was only possible if Squalo snuck away - so he wanted this to last for as long as it could; who knew when he would see Belphegor again once the tousle-haired man left?

Dino smiled and nodded as he straightened back up, moving instead towards the kitchen. "Coffee, Squalo?"

"Three sugars."

"What about you, Fran?" Making sure to include his guest, Dino was as kind as ever; he was quite fond of the teenager, as he was most people he met.

"Huh?" Lifting his eyes from the book, Fran blinked. He nodded when Dino repeated the offer, saying, "Hot chocolate, please."

"Coming right up." Dino was content as he went about making hot drinks for everyone, and as he sat on the chair opposite the younger three not long later, he couldn't help but wonder how his best friend would react if he were to learn that, for twenty long years, the teacher had been hopelessly in love with him.

Squalo had never minded Belphegor's attention, but the childish blond was just so innocent in how he danced about his feelings, one could almost describe him as adorable.

Trying not to think too much on the subject, Dino instead busied himself with his phone, knowing that he had hidden his feelings for twenty years already; what would another couple of years be?

_**~~XX~~**_

When Dino had sat down at the dining table with his friend a few hours later, Belphegor and Fran having been picked up by Lussuria earlier, the hazel-eyed man couldn't help but bring up a certain topic.

"Does it ever bother you that Bel likes you?" The blond was quiet as he spoke, hoping this conversation wouldn't turn sensitive; if the younger took it the wrong way...

Squalo shrugged. "No. Why would it? He's just focusing on something that makes him feel good instead of letting it scare him. He just wants to forget. That's all."

"What if it were someone else? Someone... Who wasn't Bel?"

Snorting, Squalo sent his friend an amused look. "The fuck are you asking?"

"If someone else liked you, would it bother you?"

"Of course it fucking would!" The younger suddenly snapped, his eyes taking on an angry expression. "I'm with Xanxus! I'm not that kind of person!"

"Even though he treats you so badly and cheats on you himself...?"

Squalo slumped, quietening down. He looked at his lap for a minute before he said, "...Yeah... Even though he does all that... I'm not... I'm not a cheater, or want peoples' attention when I'm already dating... Xanxus hates Bel because he has a crush on me, so I have to keep Bel away from him as best I can... He'd get hurt otherwise... I'm not... a bad boyfriend..."

Dino sighed as his friend pushed his dinner away, knowing he had upset the other. "I'm sorry, Squalo..."

"Don't worry about it..." The depression was clear in the younger's voice. "I don't need your pity, Bucking Horse... He's my boyfriend and I choose to stay with him because I love him... I don't expect for you to understand..."

Dino did understand, however; he knew what it was like to pine after someone, to never give up on hope because you loved them so much. Though he had never been abused in any shape or form by anyone before, he was sure he could understand at least a little about his friend's feelings; they both just wanted the other to come around, no matter how long it took.

Shaking his head, Dino hated to say it, but Squalo was far too loyal for his own good.


	4. Chapter 4

To Dino's surprise, he had gotten Squalo to stay with him a while longer, and though the phone calls from Xanxus hadn't stopped, at least the long-haired man had the option of ignoring them - though the blond was concerned that his friend's abuser would show up at his home, it hadn't happened yet, and he was relieved; he truly didn't want to deal with the stress that someone like Xanxus created everywhere he went.

Dino had thought long and hard about what he could do to alleviate some of his friend's stress on the matter, and the only thing he could think of was to take him to see the friends he hadn't seen for a few years now; all he had to do was get Squalo to agree to come.

"Hey, Squalo?" Putting his laptop down on the coffee table, Dino looked over to the younger who was slowly starting to get his appetite back up. He tried to ignore the fluttering in his stomach, instead saying, "Would you come to Japan with me?"

"What the fuck for?" Pushing away his plate of pizza, Squalo could only imagine the wrath that would be aimed at him if Xanxus found out he had left the country.

"I thought you might like to see Takeshi again." Shrugging, trying to make it seem like it wasn't a big deal, the blond continued on. "It's okay if you don't want to; I was just thinking of going up to see Tsuna."

"..." Weighing his options carefully in his mind, Squalo was conscious of the fact that he would indeed love to go back to Japan and see the younger group of males - the only thing stopping him was what Xanxus would do if he found out. "...It's just..."

"Xanxus will never know if no one tells him," the blond soothed. "He'll just think you're still somewhere in Italy."

Squalo nodded, knowing the other was right. "Then I want to come with you. When are you going to leave?"

"I was thinking of going in a few weeks, but it might make more sense to leave within the week instead; you might not be able to get away if you're back with Xanxus, after all."

Squalo nodded. He reached up, rubbing at his face self-consciously, wishing there would be more time to give his bruises time to heal, but he knew that Dino was right; at least in Japan there would be no one willing to lay another hand on him in the same manner Xanxus always did.

"I'm going to need clothing and shit." Tugging at his jacket, the younger sighed. "Think we can go back to my house and take it without him noticing?"

"I will see what I can do; when will he next be at work?"

Recalling the company roster from the top of his head, Squalo said, "Tomorrow morning, until lunchtime."

"I'll go then. You stay here just in case he hasn't gone."

Squalo wasn't in the mood to fight; in fact, he was much happier grunting in agreement as he went back to his pizza; he just wasn't sure how much more of this he could take without completely losing grip of his sanity. "..."

Turning back to his laptop, Dino watched his friend from the corner of his eye; one could never be too sure what was going through the younger's mind, but he usually had a feeling it was nothing good – it was understandable, however, with everything the other had been through in his life. "I'm going to book us tickets now. Would you like to invite anyone along? Belphegor, perhaps?"

"Nah, that little shit's hit another bump in the road so he's better off staying here where his doctor and therapist are in case he needs them." The long-haired man would have loved to bring his admirer along with them, but he knew it might only stress the younger out more than he already was; traveling took a lot of energy, and that was something the blond never had when he slipped.

"You don't think he'll be okay if he's with you?" Cocking his head to the side, Dino didn't understand; Squalo had always been Belphegor's rock, the one who could help him the most whenever the young man didn't feel right.

Squalo shook his head. "He'll be okay; he just needs to rest and not be dragged around to different countries."

"That's true." Having opened an internet page and gone into their local airline's website already, Dino clicked a few more links so that he could book tickets. "If you change your mind and he wants to come, I'll get him another ticket if we have time."

"I'll ring him later to check on him." Putting his now-empty plate onto the coffee table, the smaller male ran his gloved fingers through his hair. "Want a coffee? I'll make another pizza, too. Like some?"

The blond chuckled as he tapped away at his laptop. "A coffee would be great, but I can do the pizza for you; come sit back down; you've done enough for everyone."

"I'm used to cooking; shit doesn't bother me. Want some or not?"

Knowing that his friend was right - and wondering at the same time if Xanxus had ever so much as picked up cooking utensils, let alone cooked - Dino said softy, "Yes, thank you, Squalo."

"I'm going to cook spaghetti for dinner, too." Moving around the kitchen to get everything ready, Squalo glanced over his shoulder. "Can I borrow your car so I can get shit for it?"

"Keys are on the kitchen counter. I can get it all for you if you want to relax instead."

Shaking his head, Squalo almost felt offended by his friend's genuine kindness; though he knew that the other was only trying to be a good host and give him a break, the silver-haired male was doing the only thing he knew to thank his friend for letting him stay; he had been a slave for so long, he could barely think of anything else to do with himself. "I've got it. I'm not a fucking cripple, Bucking Horse."

"I know." Smiling at his friend, Dino finalised his purchase. "I shouldn't treat you as if you can't do things. I'm sorry."

It had been a long time since Squalo had been apologised to; usually it was he being forced to apologise for some petty little thing Xanxus blew out of proportion, such as spilling a single drop of wine. Clearing his throat uncomfortably, the man muttered a hesitant, "...Yeah..."

Dino left it at that, knowing it would take a long time before the abused male returned to the way he once was - he may never be one-hundred per cent again, but anything was better than the frightened, angry man Squalo had been moulded into.

Dino just wanted his friend to be happy again, and that was all that mattered to him.

_**~~~XX~~~**_

When Dino had gone to bed that night, he couldn't sleep; thoughts of Squalo were plaguing him. He felt stressed, concerned about whether or not he would be able to save his best friend or whether Xanxus would make things worse than ever.

All Dino wanted was Squalo's safety and happiness to return, but would that be possible? A loud crash from the living room told him no, probably not for a long time.

"Squalo?!" Throwing himself out of bed, Dino rushed to the living room to find the damaged male sitting on the couch, tears running down his face. The glass coffee table in front of them had been upturned, shards all over the floor. Putting his hands on the younger' shoulders, the man was cautious of glass as he leant in front of the other. "Squalo, what happened? Are you okay?"

The long-haired man growled as he tried to pull away from the touch, his body becoming stiff. He shook uncontrollably as his dark eyes took on a look on loathing, forcing their tears to halt, but Dino truly wasn't sure if that negativity was aimed at him or not. "Don't fucking touch me! Get your hands off me, Bucking Horse!"

By now, Squalo's tears had stopped, though his face was still wet; Dino knew the other would have still been crying if no one had come to his side; the abused male was so prideful, he couldn't bear to be seen in moments of weakness and would do whatever it took to look anything but weak.

"Squalo, what happened?" Reaching out to brush tears away with his thumb, Dino's hazel eyes became softer than ever; seeing the man like this... "What has upset you?"

"Nothing! Fuck off and stop putting your nose where it doesn't belong! I'm fucking fine!"

"No, you're not..." Dino never liked pointing out to his friend that Squalo wasn't okay, but it had to be done; it had to. "You know you can tell me anything, so what has upset you?"

"I'm not upset! Fuck off!" Squalo knew no one would believe his words, not when the evidence of his suffering was clinging to his face - but was it so bad of him to not want anyone to think less of him? He was so fucking tired of being treated as if he were nothing but the trash Xanxus always said he was. "I'm fine!"

"Squalo..." Moving very slowly, Dino opened his arms as he brought the frail man into a gentle embrace. He felt the other resist for several seconds before Squalo went limp in his arms, eventually lifting his hands to curl his long fingers into the older male's pyjama shirt. "Squalo, you can tell me anything... I just want to help you."

"..." Unable to stop the tears from rolling down his face again, the long-haired man whispered, "How do I break up with him, Bucking Horse...? How do I get away from him...?"

"..." Letting his eyes slip closed, Dino shook his head. "I don't know..."

"I can't go back there... I can't... I... No more..."

"What brought this on, Squalo?" Dino was at a loss as to what had done this to his friend; had the younger been driven into insanity by his thoughts? Or was there something more to it? The other shouldn't suddenly be wanting away from his boyfriend after eighteen years – it should have been a much more gradual realisation, so… So why was Squalo so abruptly wanting this kind of advice?

Squalo couldn't keep it to himself anymore; it was all just too much for him, and knowing that the blond wouldn't beat him senseless for it was comforting. "I want to die... I can't... If I can't get away from him, I... I won't be able to do it anymore..."

"Squalo..." Burying his face against soft silver hair, Dino fought back his own tears; the thought of losing Squalo was agonising, and knowing how the damaged man was feeling... "Squalo, I... I love you so much... Please, don't do that... Please..."

"Get me out of there, Bucking Horse..." Letting his tears fall harder, Squalo sniffed. "I can't go back... Getting a taste of living comfortably again... I can't go back to that... I can't..."

"You don't have to," Dino promised. "I'll talk to Tsuna and see if he can help us out; I won't let you go back to him."

Squalo nodded, continuing to vent to his best friend. Dino listened, but he truly wanted to cup that pale face and kiss away the other's pain. He knew he couldn't, the younger only having just made the decision to leave his partner and the last thing he would want is to have himself confused further.

Hopefully their trip to Japan would help Dino create a better life for Squalo; the blond would do anything for his best friend, after all.


	5. Chapter 5

After arriving in Japan a few days later, Dino was glad to see a bit of life in his best friend's eyes; it was almost as if simply being out of the country Squalo had suffered in for so long was enough to help him remember how to smile - something Dino hadn't seen him do for what felt like an eternity.

"Tsuna is going to pick us up." Slinging his bag over his shoulder, Dino smiled at the younger. "Takeshi and Hayato aren't able to accompany him today, but they'll be around soon to see us."

"What's that brat up to?" It was no secret that Squalo had come only for the young man he had tutored in swordplay, but the blond understood; the two had grown a close relationship during their time together, another reason for Xanxus to deny any and all contact between them.

"He's busy with his father's restaurant lately; it's still not easy for him to have lost his father the way he had, but Tsuna said he's doing better. He'll be overjoyed to see you again though; you've always been good with the younger ones."

"...Yeah..." Frowning to himself, Squalo's thoughts drifted to Belphegor, remembering how his admirer had cried over the phone to him the night before Dino and Squalo had left Italy; as expected, the younger blond hadn't wanted to come, unable to feel safe outside of his bedroom, and had also refused the other's offer of the long-haired man coming over to check on him; he had just wanted to lay in his bed where he was most comfortable and listen to his favourite person tell him a bedtime story over the phone. "I hope Bel is going to be okay; Lussu was a little worried when I was talking to him."

"Bel is strong," the taller male reassured. "And he has Lussuria with him to make sure he's alright; you said he was taking time off work to look after him, right?"

"Yeah, that fag hates leaving him alone at the best of times." Following his friend out of the airport, Squalo changed the topic; it wouldn't do to have himself getting worried about someone he couldn't help when he wasn't even in the same country. "Where's the Vongola brat?"

"He said he'll be here soon; he's fixing something up at the company."

Humming, Squalo took a seat on the bench just outside the doors. He glanced at Dino when the other sat beside him, finding the strangers bustling around them to be more interesting.

Dino blushed slightly as he watched his friend, hardly aware of his hand slowly extending until Squalo had flinched and pulled away. The younger raised a hand to where the teacher had touched his cheek, staring in disbelief at the other; Dino knew he hated to be touched, so why...?

"Sorry..." Dino said softy, not surprised at the anger and fear in dark orbs. "You had something on your face is all; I should have told you."

Shaking his head, the younger shrugged. "S'fine... Don't do that shit again, though..."

"I won't." Wanting to kiss his friend in apology, Dino instead pulled his phone out of his pocket. He looked at the text from Tsuna that said the Japanese male had just found a park and would come to them now. "Tsuna is here now, Squalo. Are you ready?"

The long-haired man nodded, grabbing his suitcase as he got back to his feet. "Let's get the fuck out of here."

Dino couldn't have agreed more, just wanting for his friend's rehabilitation to begin; even if he would never refer to their trip as such, that was what he planned to treat it as.

Maybe, if all went well, Dino could even convince the other to fall for him instead of an abusive man who was only using Squalo and didn't love him in the least.

_**~~XX~~**_

"I didn't know you had moved." Looking around the spacious living room, Squalo was surprised that his host was living in a mansion now; he had known Tsuna for ten years, and the kid had been a most timid creature, near impossible to even think he would end up here.

"Oh, yeah." Tsuna smiled as he sat across from the older two, wanting to catch up with them; while he spoke to Dino a lot, he hadn't heard from Squalo for a few years now, but he understood - they all did. "I don't think it's something I need to flaunt so I never mention it."

"You've done well for yourself, kid." Looking at Dino, Squalo fell silent, and he didn't even know _why_; he just suddenly felt as if he could cry again. "...I'm proud of you..."

Dino grabbed the youngest's attention, knowing that something had upset his best friend and that the long-haired man would appreciate not being acknowledged for now. "How's the company going?"

"Yeah, good. Chrome and Mukuro have been sharing their position pretty well, but Hibari-San still doesn't seem to want to do as he's told."

The blond chuckled, knowing just how stubborn the latter is; he had once taught the other, after all. "Kyouya still hasn't cooled off?"

"Nope."

Squalo stopped caring about the others' conversation, instead locking himself away in his head. He looked up only when the teacher waved a hand in front of his face, taking notice of Tsuna's absence. "Where'd the brat go?"

"He had to get back to work, but he's let us stay in his home; he's welcomed us for the entire stay." Dino stretched before he stood up, extending a hand to his friend. "Let's go have lunch; Tsuna said the chefs will make us anything we ask for. I don't know about you, but I'm starving, and Enzo could use a feed, too."

The silver-haired male snorted when that all-too-familiar turtle of Dino's was pulled out of the blond's jacket, its little legs waving in the air as it nipped at nothing. "I didn't even realise you had brought that fucking thing with you."

"Of course I did; Enzo comes everywhere with me." Holding his pet against his chest, the taller male's smile became relaxed. "He even comes to school with me."

"No wonder you lose it all the time." Squalo shrugged, falling into stride with the older male. "Xanxus doesn't even let Bester outside because he's worried the fucking cat will run away or something - not that I'll complain if it does because I hate the stupid thing; it's as bad-tempered as its owner."

Dino knew all too well how much Xanxus cared more for his pet than he did his own boyfriend; it was a sad truth that proved just how badly treated the long-haired man was in his relationship, and though Squalo was only mentioning this in passing, it didn't make the blond feel any less angry towards his best friend's abuser.

Instead of taking it out on Squalo, the older male simply said, "I would do the same thing if I had a cat; I would hate to lose a pet to anything that could have been avoided had it been inside. I don't even like the thought of Scuderia grazing in his paddock most of the time."

"How often do you even go out to see that stinking horse, anyway? You never went to its stable since I've been with you."

"I go and spend time with him most weekends as long as I have spare time, and if I miss him particularly and I don't have work, I'll go out and ride him. It's hard since I don't live out of town anymore, but I'm looking at getting back out in the countryside." Biting his lip, Dino avoided suggesting to the other to move in with him; who knew how those words would go down? Squalo knew he was welcome to stay with the blond for as long as he needed, but... Wouldn't inviting him to move in be too personal for the other? "You know, when we go back to Italy, you should come riding with me; Romario had plenty of other horses he wouldn't mind you riding. I think it'd be good for you; you'd like it."

"I don't like animals very much..." Squalo sighed. "I don't know..."

"You'd like Scuderia, though; he's so placid and easy to handle. He's a sweetheart." Taking a deep breath, Dino took the plunge; maybe if he brought the subject up… Made it sound like he was simply making an observation… "You know… I think country life would be what you need, Squalo; it's so peaceful and you can just relax to your heart's content. What do you think?"

"Hmm… Yeah, it would be nice, but…" Sighing, Squalo threaded his gloved fingers through his hair. "Bel always wants to come over, and I know Lussuria wouldn't mind bringing him so far out, but I'd hate for him to be wasting so much fuel on that brat."

"I thought Bel had a license? Couldn't he just borrow Lussuria's car?"

"He _does _have a license, but he doesn't have his own car, and Lussu doesn't want him driving his anymore, not since the shithead crashed his last one – fucking hoon."

Dino smiled sadly, wishing he could be more open about just how much he loved the younger; if only Xanxus had never drawn him in with lies and fake promises – then maybe Dino would have had a chance to give Squalo all the love and affection he could ever want.

_**~~XX~~**_

"Squalo!"

The addressed man looked up from the book he had been reading at his name, letting a slight smile tug at his lips as he caught sight of his student approaching him. Sliding his reading glasses from his nose, Squalo stood up, closing the distance between them. "Haven't seen you in a long time, brat. How have things been?"

Yamamoto Takeshi, a dark-haired man who was taller than Squalo, laughed as his dark eyes shone with excitement. He spoke in a soft voice, sadness that the Italian could pick out no matter how well it had been concealed. "Ah, you know, just trying to keep up with my dad's business; I don't think he'd want me to let it go so soon."

Squalo nodded in agreement, patting the younger's shoulder. "Take some time off if you need it; he'll understand if you need to grieve."

Wrapping his strong arms around his tutor, Takeshi's smile widened. "You give the best advice, Squalo. You really do."

Tense in the other's embrace, it took all of Squalo's willpower to keep himself calm and not explode at the younger; Takeshi was naturally an affectionate person, and he didn't mean anything by his words or actions; the taller male knew the other didn't like touch, but he was also in a time of need as well; his father had been murdered not long ago, and it had impacted greatly on the sweet-natured male.

Instead, Squalo cleared his throat as he ducked his head, trusting the other to not hurt him. "…"

"Hey, Squalo?" Pulling away from the man Takeshi affectionately thought of as his idol, he cocked his head slightly. He brushed long silver strands from grey eyes before he said, "Let's go out somewhere and catch up; it's been years since we last spoke."

"I'd rather just stay here, brat." Frowning, the older male sincerely didn't have the motivation to leave the mansion; he just wanted to stay where he was and converse with his friends over a hot cup of coffee. "We might go out later or something; I really can't be fucked."

Takeshi nodded in understanding. He looked behind him as Tsuna and their silver-haired companion entered the living room, smiling at them before he turned back to Squalo. "Well, let's sit here and talk instead. I'm really happy you're here, though; I bet it wasn't easy."

Shaking his head, Squalo said, "I've been staying with the Bucking Horse, and… I think I want to leave Xanxus… I've been with him for so long, I must have forgotten what it was like to live without abuse… But being with Dino has helped me remember how I was so much happier without putting up with all that shit… I just don't know how to do it…"

"Don't go back," Takeshi suggested, saying what made the most sense to him. "Find somewhere else to live and don't let him know where you are. I'll even go to Italy and get your stuff for you. You can live with me if you want to, Squalo; I don't mind."

"Everything in that fucking house _is _mine; I bought all the shit in it and the only thing that belongs to _him _is his cat." The anger within Squalo was clear, as if he resented the way he was mooched off of. He took a deep breath to calm himself before he let his eyes slip closed and he said in a softer tone, "…Thanks, brat, but I'm staying with Bucking Horse for now. If he ever gets sick of me, I'll take you up on that offer."

"I never get sick of you, Squalo," Dino promised. "I _love_ you."

Squalo raised an eyebrow as he frowned, severely uncomfortable with these words. He flinched at the sudden movement that was the blond slapping his hand to his mouth, noticing the panicked expression in hazel eyes. "The fuck, Bucking Horse?"

"Love _having _you!" Taking a step back, Dino tripped over the rug, sprawling onto his back. He waved his hands in the air, desperate to fix his mistake; he had been lucky to have the other confused and not irate, because Squalo normally wouldn't have appreciated such a declaration _at all_. "I love having you stay with me, Squalo! I don't… love..."

Squalo shrugged, avoiding eye contact with everyone. He sighed, a tired expression crossing his face that suddenly made him look so much older than he really was. "Fucking whatever, Bucking Horse... I'm seriously too tired for this shit… I want to get some sleep; I've had hardly any…"

Tsuna, who had stood so silently in the doorway with his friend, jumped up at this. He nodded, gingerly brushing his fingers against the man's sleeve of his jacket. "I'll take you to your room, Squalo. Would you like to take your jacket off? You must be very hot with it on in this weather."

Squalo sent his host a scathing look before he stormed off, going to find his room by himself; he was well aware that it was summer here in Japan, but if he were still wearing his jacket, it was for a reason and everybody should just _back the fuck off_.

Four sets of eyes watched the long-haired man's departure, the three Japanese males eventually turning to look at Dino with a questioning gaze.

"Why did he get so offended?" Hurt crossed Tsuna's face at this question, as if he felt bad for upsetting his friend. "I didn't mean anything by it."

"I have my suspicions…" Dropping his chin to his chest, the blond truly wished Squalo trusted him more; he was almost certain his friend was self-harming, but Squalo wasn't emotionally stable enough to be questioned this out of the blue; it would only lead to further stress for the other, and that was something Dino was trying to get him away from.

Nodding in understanding, Tsuna and his two friends excused themselves, knowing that neither Squalo nor Dino needed tension; they were both surely going through enough of that themselves.


	6. Chapter 6

"The funeral is tomorrow."

Squalo looked over his shoulder at the younger man standing behind him; a depressed look was on Takeshi's face as the other stood by the counter in Tsuna's kitchen. Putting the milk carton back in the fridge, the Italian male glared at the offending appliance before him as he said, "Stop blaming yourself for it, Takeshi; there was nothing you could have done."

"…I shouldn't have left to do that delivery…" Slipping his eyes closed, Takeshi fought against tears, remembering clear as day how he had returned to his family's restaurant and found his father slaughtered behind the counter. "If I had just… If I had been there, I might have been able to save him…"

"But you _weren't _there, and you had no idea it was going to happen…" Dragging his gloved fingers down his face, Squalo sighed. He moved towards the younger, sitting beside him at the counter. He hesitated before he wrapped an arm around subtly-shaking shoulders, wishing he could do something for his friend; he had been in Japan for only a few days now, and it seemed become clearer with each day just how much the younger missed his father. "Don't blame yourself for it; it's unbecoming of you."

The Japanese male nodded slightly before he leant closer, embracing his friend tight. Squalo tensed and held his breath, stiff for a few seconds before he allowed himself to relax; he trusted Takeshi, knowing the other would never hurt him. "Thank you, Squalo… You always make the most sense to me…"

"Hmm…" Brushing strands of hair from Yamamoto's eyes, Squalo sighed. "If you need to cry, do it, brat; I'm not going to judge you…"

"But you _never _cry; you always said it's weakness…"

"That doesn't mean I _don't _want to cry at times, though; it just means that I… only do it when no one's around to see me so pathetic…" Shaking his head, Squalo continued on. "Cry, brat; you lost your father and there's nothing wrong with shedding tears over that."

The younger chewed at his lip for a few seconds before he nodded slowly, letting the first tear slide down his cheek. The rest followed soon after, and before Squalo knew it, his friend was crying into him, letting out all of his despair.

"It's alright, brat; let it out." Squalo stayed unmoving, knowing that he needed to give the Japanese male comfort he needed himself; sometimes he wished he could be as free with his emotions as the younger was. "I'm here."

Tsuna and Dino soon walked into the kitchen, the two having arrived for breakfast. They were silent as they realised what had happened, knowing that Yamamoto just needed his hero; it was amazing just how good Squalo was with the younger males considering he had an explosive temper – Dino suspected it had something to do with how much the man had suffered in his own life.

When at last Yamamoto wiped away the last of his tears and put a smile back on his face, breakfast had been served and everyone had relocated into the dining room, eating their meals quietly. Dino sat by his friend, knowing that _Squalo _didn't notice the small looks he gave the long-haired man, but also knowing that Tsuna was watching closely, as if he knew how the blond felt towards his childhood companion.

And then, as if to prove it, Tsuna said, "Dino? A word outside?"

Squalo gave the older male a suspicious look before he shrugged, returning to his breakfast. Dino nodded, getting up and following the smaller male out into the hallway; whatever Tsuna had to say, it would be okay; the brunet was too kind for his own good.

"I've been wondering for a while now." Closing the door to the dining room, Tsuna smiled. "Do you like Squalo?"

Blushing, Dino nodded as he scratched at his cheek. "Yeah... Don't tell him that, though; he'll kill me."

"I think you should tell him," the brunet explained. "Have a look at what he's going through; he needs love more than anything. I'm sure he'd be overjoyed to be with someone who wants to take care of him."

"Yes, but until he's over and done with Xanxus, he won't even think about someone else; that's the kind of person he is, Tsuna - he'll get upset if he knows someone else wants him."

"Lay it out there for him; let him know that he has someone to come to as soon as he's ready." Patting the blond's arm, Tsuna stepped closer. "I'm sure that's all he wants; someone to give him the kind of love he never got from Xanxus."

"I just don't want to upset him or make him feel pressured..." The teacher rubbed the back of his head, sighing. "If he's going to be happier with someone else, I want him to take that chance... I bet there's more of a chance he'll wind up with Takeshi or Bel at this rate..."

"Yamamoto is interested in someone else and I sincerely doubt anything will happen between Squalo and Belphegor, Dino. Talk to him. He's your best friend."

"I know he is..." Glancing back at the door, Dino couldn't help but feel a little better knowing he had someone to talk to about his problems; it wasn't easy doing what he was, but he persevered anyway; Squalo was worth everything in the world. "Thank you, Tsuna; I've needed someone to talk to."

"Any time, Dino." Opening the door to the dining room, Tsuna held it open for his guest. "After you."

Squalo was quiet as Dino sat back beside him, focused on his food; it tasted good, and what made it even better was that someone else has cooked it instead; he had grown so used to his own cooking, he had long-since hated it.

"What were you two talking about?" Squalo glanced lazily at his friend, not really interested in the answer; it wasn't any of his business, after all.

"Oh, nothing much; just -" Dino fell silent as the other's phone started ringing, hoping it wasn't who he thought it was; couldn't Squalo get a break from Xanxus just once?

"What do you want, Lussuria?"

Dino let out a breath he didn't even know he had been holding; thank god it was just Lussuria.

"What?" Squalo frowned, grabbing everyone's attention. "The fuck are you on about, fag? I'm not even in Italy."

"Well, he's not with Fran, and you know it's not like him to be out at night." Lussuria sounded stressed, and Squalo didn't blame him; it was very late back in Italy, and Lussuria didn't know where Belphegor was. "I should ring him and see where he is."

"What the fuck, Luss? You ring me looking for him when I'm not even in the same fucking country, and you haven't even rang him yet? Call him! I'm not in the mood for this shit, faggot!"

Dino chuckled as the younger ended the call, his hazel eyes shining with affection. "Lussuria always does jump the gun when it comes to Bel."

"Fucking does my head in..." Picking his chopsticks back up, Squalo sighed. "I don't know how Bel can live with him so easily."

"Simple; he hardly comes out of his room unless he's hungry." Tsuna laughed at his own joke, earning soft laugher and nods of agreement.

Just a minute later, Squalo's phone rang again, the caller ID reading Lussuria again. Answering the phone, Squalo growled, "What now, trash?"

A sob on the other line answered Squalo, startling the man. "Squa, it's horrible...! I don't know what to do!"

"Calm your tits, Luss. What's wrong?"

"I-I called him and it kept getting declined but when I finally got through to him..." Lussuria sobbed again, seemingly crying harder now, "...it was silent for a few seconds, and then... Gun shots, Squalo! Gun shots! What if my poor Bel has been shot?!"

"Why the fuck are you ringing me ?!" Squalo roared, panic surging through him; had Xanxus gotten to Belphegor in his absence? "Call the fucking police, fag!"

Lussuria mumbled something before he ended the call, leaving Squalo to dial in the one number he had memorised by heart. The dial tone rang for only a few seconds before Xanxus answered, an amused snicker escaping his lips.

"What the fuck did you do to Bel?!" The long-haired man shouted, barely aware of the three sets of eyes watching him.

"The question is, trash... What _didn't _I do to him?" The older male made a pleased grunt before he continued on. "You should have seen him; he puts up more of a fight than you do – goes to show just how much of a slut you are, shark trash."

"The fuck have you _done _to _him?!_" Tears welled up in Squalo's eyes as he thought about everything that could have happened to the blond; when it came to Xanxus, nothing could be put past the man. "Where is he?!"

"He's a pretty good fuck, actually; I was surprised by just how tight he is for a slut." Squalo could almost _hear _the smirk in his boyfriend's voice, and it _sickened _him. "But then again, he's less of a whore than _you _are; it's not hard to be looser than you."

Closing his eyes, Squalo felt as if he could cry; he had tried so hard to keep Belphegor safe from the man who lived to hurt him, but he had failed; he should _never _have left Italy knowing Xanxus was still out there. "…You… I don't…"

"Squalo, what's happened?" Dino moved closer, knowing that something bad had happened; was there anything he could do to help?

Taking a deep breath, Squalo screamed, "That's fucking it, Xanxus! It's over! I'm done with you! You can do whatever the fuck you want to me, but don't you _ever _bring Bel into this! He has _nothing _to do with it! When I get back to Italy I'm going to fucking _kill _you! Where the fuck is Bel?!"

"You don't have the balls to leave me, shark trash; if you did, you'd have left years ago. Don't think you grew a pair now just because I killed that little slut; if you really want to know, he's lying face-down in a gutter. Have fun at his funeral; don't cry too much for the worthless slutty trash." With that said, the line went dead.

"Squalo, what happened?" Dino held a stressed expression on his face, reaching out to his friend. He didn't say anything when his hands were slapped away, watching in silence as the other got to his feet.

"I need to get back to Italy; Xanxus got Bel."

Dino and Tsuna didn't hesitate to stand up, either. "We're coming with you, Squalo."

Takeshi looked conflicted, as if he wanted to go with them, but something was keeping him in Japan. "…I… don't know what to do…"

Tsuna nodded in understanding. "You stay here and go to the funeral, Yamamoto; I'll get Gokudera-kun to come with us."

Dino looked back over his shoulder to find Takeshi whispering to the brunet, so he took this opportunity to follow his best friend out of the dining room, needing to know _exactly _what had happened; he had never seen the younger like this before.

"Squalo, tell me what's happened." Trailing behind the smaller male up the stairs, Dino frowned. "What did Xanxus do to him?"

Whirling around to glare at the blond, Squalo's mouth opened and closed wordlessly before he hissed, "What do you _think _he would have done, Bucking Horse? It's _Xanxus _we're talking about here, and he got _Belphegor_."

"Oh…" Dino didn't need any further explanation; he could work out the hint from those words alone – Xanxus had used and abused Belphegor in the same manner he did his own _boyfriend_, if not _worse. _

Squalo nodded, sniffing. He stopped walking, throwing his arms around his friend's shoulders as he pressed their chests together. "I shouldn't have left Italy, Bucking Horse… I shouldn't have…"

Dino returned the embrace, holding the distressed male tight. He dropped his chin on top of a silver head, wishing he knew what to say, but what _could _he say? The damage had been done, and if Squalo had meant what he said over the phone, he had finally found the strength to get himself out of that relationship; what was left to talk about?

"Bel…" Sobbing into Dino's chest, Squalo allowed himself to cry, hoping that Xanxus had fabricated the truth to hurt him further and that Belphegor wasn't dead. He truly hoped the younger was still alive, but when it came to Xanxus…

Did he believe his boyfriend's words or not?


	7. Chapter 7

"Lussuria…" Stepping into the hospital room located back in his hometown of Sicily, Squalo swallowed thickly as he looked anywhere but at the bed his friend was sitting next to. Dropping his head, he hesitated before he asked, "…How is he…?"

Lussuria shook his head, watching as Dino, Tsuna and Hayato trailed in after the long-haired man. He reached up, sliding a finger beneath his sunglasses so that he could wipe at his wet eyes. "…He's… not _Bel_…"

It was then Squalo looked to the bed, finding the blond lying motionless beneath the white blanket. He felt tears well up in his eyes as he noticed all the blood caked onto the younger's skin and in his golden locks, and he could only imagine the state of the other's body hidden beneath the thin sheet. Belphegor's hands had been tied down to the sides of the bed, and a small tube disappeared into his mouth, giving the man the impression he couldn't breathe by himself. "Did he say what happened…?"

"He can't talk around that tube, but…" Sniffing, the usually-flamboyant man shook his head. "I… I think he's really confused… A _bad _kind of confused… Confused about _everything…_ He kept trying to pull the tube from his mouth so the nurses had to tie his hands down, and he just… he just kept _screaming…_ I've never seen him so scared before, not even when I first adopted him…"

Looking to see that Belphegor's head was tilting slightly in order to follow his visitors' movements, Squalo knew the younger was scared; he had never hated Xanxus more than he did now – hurting Belphegor was a line _no one _should _ever _cross.

"Hey, Bel…" Moving slowly to the bed, Squalo raised his hands where the other could see them. He knew his companions were staying back in order to try and make the blond more comfortable, but in this state, would it really help? "I missed you… I bought you something while I was in Japan… All of our bags are in the car, but I promise I'll give it to you as soon as I can. Okay?"

Lussuria felt his heart break as he watched the way his charge's chest rose and fell haphazardly, hints of Belphegor's panicked breaths arising; he had seen a lot of things frighten the young man, but never had he thought _Squalo _would be one of those things; Belphegor loved the long-haired male too much to fear him.

"Honey, the nurse already asked me to make sure not to stress him." Putting his hands on Squalo's arm, Lussuria sent the younger a pleading look. "He… You have no idea what Xanxus has done to him…"

"Tell me, Luss…" Moving to the seat next his friend's, Squalo rubbed at his eyes.

"…That bandage around his head…" Pointing to the blood-stained bandage that was so saturated in the bodily fluid Squalo had thought it was hair, Lussuria let a tear slide down his cheek; just _thinking _about this devastated him. "The nurses said blunt trauma… He must have been hit in the head a lot… From that alone, they think there's a good chance of him having brain damage…"

"Fuck…" Dropping his face into his hands, Squalo choked on a sob; he knew it wasn't his fault, just like he had told Takeshi that his father's death hadn't been _his; _he hadn't known this was going to happen, and it wasn't like he had _asked _for it. "Bel…"

"He was shot… Twelve times, the nurse told me… They said some of his organs have been damaged from the wounds… And his… Down there… Xanxus must have… yeah… He must have done _it _for a while, and… The nurse said there was more damage down there than should have occurred from sexual penetration alone… They said… They said… when they found him… Not long after they found him, they… They had to resuscitate him… He would have _died _if they had been a minute later getting to him… They think that he was conscious the entire time until they got there… I think he just didn't want to die alone…"

"Oh, god…" The abused male's shoulders trembled as Squalo struggled to stop himself from crying; he loved Belphegor so much, it was agonising to know this had happened to him.

"His ribs are shattered, his knees and legs broken, and the x-ray of his back didn't look too good; I'm afraid to hear their diagnosis…"

"I'm so sorry, Bel…" Reaching out, Squalo tried to thread his fingers through bloodied locks, but Belphegor threw his head to the side, a wild emotion crossing his eyes as his bangs parted just long enough to notice them.

"He just wants to be left alone, dear…" Looking at his lap, Lussuria whispered, "He's been through enough… Just let him be…"

Squalo nodded, seeing that his travel companions were now coming to join them. He listened to Tsuna and Lussuria talking quietly, but all he really paid attention to was Dino's hand that was now sitting on his shoulder. He looked up at the older male, tears sliding down his cheeks as he shrugged.

"What am I supposed to do for him when he's like this, Bucking Horse…?" A bitter laugh escaped Squalo's throat before it was cut off by a strangled sob. "He got angry when I tried to touch him… He's never been angry at me before…"

"I don't know, Squalo… I don't know…" Leaning down, Dino wrapped his arms around his friend, holding him close. "I'm sorry…"

"Don't be sorry; _you _didn't do this to him…"

"I know I didn't, Squalo… I know I didn't…"

Letting a loud sob slip past his lips, Squalo hated how much he cared; it would be so much easier if he could disappear and not care about anything anymore.

_**~~XX~~**_

Squalo had been able to handle watching Belphegor throw up constantly, but when the blond fell into a seizure, he had to leave the hospital; he couldn't bear to see the younger in such a bad way, unable to stop blaming himself for it.

Dino had brought his three friends back to his home, and though Tsuna and Hayato had been content with sitting in the living room, Squalo had been restless; he had paced around the house continuously before he locked himself in his room, growling for everyone to leave him alone.

"Do you think Squalo is going to be okay?" Tsuna sighed as he grabbed a piece of fruit from the platter on the coffee table in front of them. "He's really torn up about this."

"I don't know, to be honest..." Scratching below his eye, Dino shook his head. "I don't know what to do for him; I've never seen him like this, and I'm scared he's going to go after Xanxus himself."

"Yamamoto's catching the next flight down; he caught it as soon as the funeral finished - once he's here, we can sort this out together."

"I never thought I'd see that creep like this..." The silver-haired male muttered, remembering back to how scared and angry Belphegor had been. "He's always been so..."

"Sweet," Dino finished for the younger. "Bel really likes you, Hayato; I know you never really liked him, but do you think you could be a bit kinder to him from now on? I'm sure he'd love that; he's always wanted you to like him back."

Hayato muttered something before he stood up, looking anywhere but at Dino. "Where are the keys to that rental car? I'm gonna grab lunch. Anyone want anything?"

"Kitchen counter next to my car keys, and please; whatever you're getting is fine, Hayato."

"I'll come for a drive," Tsuna said, getting to his own feet.

Dino watched them head into the kitchen, not sure who he was more worried about; Belphegor or Squalo? Belphegor may never be the same again, and he had been badly hurt; what if emotional and mental damage weren't the only things he would have to live with?

"Dino, the keys aren't here."

Dino blinked at Tsuna's words before a panicked feeling overwhelmed him. Jumping up from his seat, he ran to Squalo's bedroom, opening the door and finding the younger wasn't in there.

"He's gone after Xanxus!" Dino exclaimed, running to snatch his own keys from the counter. "He's going to get himself killed!"

The younger two didn't hesitate to follow their friend out to the car; there was no time to waste when it came to Squalo dealing with his boyfriend alone.

_**~~XX~~**_

"Xanxus!" Kicking the front door shut behind him, Squalo stormed through the entrance hall of his home. He grit his teeth as his body trembled with rage, wishing he had his sword with him; never before had he wanted to kill his lover as much as he did now – he would _never _forgive the older man for what he had done to Belphegor. "Xanxus, where the fuck are you?!"

"You're loud, whore." Xanxus was seated in the living room, a bottle of wine next to him as his cat purred from his lap. He had the TV on, but whatever he had been watching had been paused, revealing nothing but a dark blur on the screen. "I thought you'd be back by now. I got you a present."

Squalo felt sick at these words, knowing nothing good would come from that 'present'. He stayed silent as his lover picked up the TV remote again, his eyes darting to the screen as the image started moving now.

"Xanxus, what – what the _fuck?!_" Squalo felt a sliver of horror pass through him as he recognised Belphegor's pained voice floating through the TV speakers. It was like a train wreck; he just couldn't look away as he watched what must have been a recording of that night, no matter how much he wanted to look away.

The long-haired man felt tears slide down his cheeks as he counted a handful of gunshot wounds in the blond's body, disgusted by the blood and semen that leaked from the other's rear. He felt he could throw up as a sickening crack filled the air, seeing that one kneecap had been broken right in front of him.

"Bel…" Raising his ears to block out the desperate, incoherent pleads of Belphegor for his assaulter to stop, please stop, oh _god, stop_, Squalo tensed his body. His eyes were drawn to the screen as he watched the blond pant harshly before weakly rolling himself halfway to one side. He laid there for a few seconds before he tried to drag himself away with just one arm, but he didn't get far at all before he was forced onto his back and Xanxus lined his hips up. The sickening screams of someone he loved so much were what had dropped Squalo to his knees, wishing he could look away, block the sound out, anything but watch the agony that sweet-natured young man had been put through.

"He was such a good fuck." Shifting, Xanxus allowed the younger to see his arousal pushing against his pants. "No wonder his family loved fucking his tight little ass so much; must have made a fortune from all the men they rented him out to."

"Don't talk about him like that, Xanxus…" Squalo hissed, wishing he could listen to anything but the recordings of his lover telling Belphegor that he was nothing but a slut who was only good for a quick fuck. "Don't you fucking _talk about him _as if you _know _him!"

Xanxus smirked as his boyfriend charged at him, but he barely had to move a muscle to block the younger's attack. He reached out, ripping at silver strands in order to drag the weaker man down to his height. Whispering against the other's ear, his hot breath sent shivers through Squalo's body. "I don't _need _to know him to know that he's a worthless whore who'd do anything to have your cock buried deep inside of him. I already told him; he should kill himself now because it's the only thing in his pathetic, miserable life that he's going to amount to – that, or Lussuria will eventually get bored of him and either keep him for his own needs or rent him out, just like his family did."

"I hate you so fucking much, Xanxus!" Swinging his elbow out at the taller male, Squalo bit through his lip as his attack missed and the other retaliated with a powerful punch to his jaw. He spat out blood that was quickly filling his mouth before he instead raised his knee, connecting with the man's hip. He made no sound as he was thrown across the ground, getting straight back to his feet in order to meet the dark-haired male's approach and duck beneath the wide swing aimed at his throat.

Their attacks continued on for what felt like an eternity, and though Squalo was on the losing side of the battle, covered in blood and throbbing in pain, he continued on, fuelled by his rage towards the other.

"Squalo!"

Looking over his shoulder at the unexpected shout from behind him, Squalo's eyes widened to find Dino and the others had arrived; he didn't want their help – he didn't want _anyone's _help – because this didn't have anything to do with _them; _it was between Xanxus and he, and he would be _damned _if he let someone else get hurt because of him.

"Stay out of this, Bucking Horse!" Squalo snapped, wiping at the thick river of blood that was flowing down the side of his face. "This is _my _fight!"

A look of understanding crossed Dino's face for a few seconds before his eyes widened and he shouted, "Behind you!"

Squalo spun around, just in time to hear the words, "You've outlived your usefulness, trash", and then a deafening roar exploded right in his ears and the whole world went black.


	8. Chapter 8

"My head fucking hurts like a bitch…" Rubbing at the bandage around his head, Squalo sighed, not quite remembering what had happened; just the loud explosion of gunpowder earlier was _still _making his ears ring. Glancing down at the hospital bed he was sitting on, the man looked to Dino expectantly. "What the fuck happened?"

Dino was sitting next to his friend, his brown eyes softer than ever. "Xanxus went to shoot you in the head; if I hadn't had pushed you out of the way… The bullet grazed your head, and when you fell, you hit something…"

Squalo nodded in understanding. When he spoke, it was in a quiet voice. "You should have just let him shoot me, Bucking Horse… It'd have all been over otherwise… Next time someone has a fucking gun to my head, _don't _intervene; let them pull that fucking trigger."

"I could _never _do that, no matter how much you want me to, Squalo…" Feeling tears well up in his eyes with the stress of everything that had happened, Dino shook his head. "_Never_… You… You're too important to me, Squalo… I can't lose you…"

Rolling his sleeves up, Squalo revealed his scarred wrists, hoping the other would understand; was it so hard to others to grasp the fact that no matter how prideful he carried himself as, he just wanted to die? "What if I told you that I don't want to live…?"

Letting his tears drip down onto those ugly scars he _knew _his best friend would live with for the rest of his life, Dino ever-so-carefully wrapped his arms around the younger. He held the abused male's face to his chest as he rested his chin in silver hair, knowing he couldn't hide things any longer; he had to tell Squalo about everything.

"Maybe you don't want to live, but… _I _want you to live… I _love _you, Squalo; I love you so much, I've never had eyes for anyone but you. For twenty years I've been in love with you and I've wanted nothing but your presence around me. I hated your relationship with Xanxus, but I respected your choice and I did my best to hide my feelings because I knew you wouldn't like them when you were already with someone. I've wanted no one but you, Squalo, because I _love _you."

"…" Staring ahead of him, Squalo's gaze became fuzzy as he lost himself in his mind.

"The cops came, and Xanxus was arrested and taken in for questioning." Changing the subject, Dino tried his hardest to make sure the younger didn't feel as if he were being pressured into making a decision or anything of the sort; his feelings were out in the open now, and the damaged man could take as long as he wanted in thinking about things.

"They won't hold him…" Squalo muttered sadly. "They'll release him because of who his foster father was. It's always been that way…"

"That's what I expected; that's why Tsuna and Hayato are at your home right now with a moving truck. They're getting everything out of the house and bringing it to mine. I don't expect for you to return my feelings or anything like that, but I really want you to live with me now, Squalo; the spare room can be yours and I promise I'll take care of you. We'll find a nice house out in the country and I'll buy us both nice new cars. I'll try and get a transfer to a different school and we'll build a new life for you, Squalo; one you can be _happy _and _safe _in. Does that sound good to you? Would you like that, Squalo?"

Closing his eyes, Squalo let his own tears slide down his cheeks. He didn't know how to reply, not even sure if he was happy with that plan – but did he really have a choice? He couldn't go back to Xanxus, not after what the man had done to Belphegor, and there was no one else he loved and trusted more than he did Dino – if he was going to be safe anywhere, it was with the blond.

Lifting his head, Squalo rubbed their cheeks together before he placed a feather-light kiss against the older male's soft lips. He flinched as he felt a warm hand come to rest on his cheek, leaning into the caress; how long had it been since he had been touched so affectionately?

Pressing their foreheads together, Dino's tears came harder as he smiled. "I love you, Squalo, and I never want to hurt you. I want you to be comfortable with me, and I understand completely if you want to set your boundaries high. Please tell me if I do anything you don't want."

The long-haired man nodded as a tired expression crossed his face. He dropped his head to rest against his friend's chest, listening to the steady heartbeat beneath him. He allowed the other to hold him close, the two crying silently together.

For the first time in eighteen years, they each had the person they needed the most to hold them together.

_**~~XX~~**_

"We got everything inside the house." Tsuna spoke quietly to Dino as he sat on the couch next to the older male, watching as Squalo slept quietly with his head on the blond's lap. "Gokudera-kun drove the car out. He put it in the backyard for now."

"Thank you, Tsuna." Dino threaded his fingers through soft silver strands, smiling softly as he thought about their conversation on the drive home. "Your advice worked for me; he's my boyfriend now."

"I'm really happy for you both," Tsuna promised, glad that Squalo was finally going to get the love and affection he had been deprived of for so long; the silver-haired male was more than deserving of it, after all. "I know Lussuria will be overjoyed to hear this; has Squalo told him yet?"

"We went to see him before we left the hospital, but Bel was going into surgery so we went home."

"Surgery?" Tsuna frowned, having been told what Belphegor had been put through.

"His skull was broken and pressing on his brain, Lussuria said." The oldest male sighed. "Said it was a depressed fracture."

"That's horrible…" The smaller male's eyes shone with compassion, wishing there was something he could do to help Belphegor, but he really didn't know how; it would be best leaving it up to Squalo and Lussuria to take care of him.

"Yeah, the nurses are going to move him into ICU afterwards, and then a high-dependency unit until he can go home. He's going to be in there for a while, I think."

"Poor thing; none of them deserved _any _of this." Reaching out, Tsuna put his hand on Squalo's shoulder, glad that the other seemed comfortable enough to not be disturbed by the action. "All we can do is be there for them and support them. I think Squalo's going to be okay now that he's out of that relationship and with you; it's Belphegor I'm _really _worried about; he was doing so well after coming out of that kind of childhood, and now…"

"Yeah, I know…" Dino frowned, hating how Belphegor had been caught in the same vicious cycle Lussuria had rescued him from all those years ago. "Poor Bel… He's going to need so much love and affection after this…"

Tsuna nodded, agreeing wholeheartedly. "I'm going to go help Gokudera-kun with lunch, Dino. I really _am _happy for you both; I know he'll be so happy with you."

"I know he will be, too, Tsuna; we're going to look for a home together when he wakes up; we want to get out of here as soon as we can."

"I understand." With that said, Tsuna bowed before he left to tend to the kitchen, knowing that his two hosts deserved to have lunch cooked for them; they had been through enough without being treated as slaves.

Making a mental note to bring food down to the hospital to keep Lussuria's strength up, Tsuna went about helping Hayato prepare ingredients for fettuccini.


	9. Chapter 9

"This is a nice house, don't you think?" Dino squeezed the gloved hand he was holding, smiling down at his boyfriend; they had been together for two days now, and already he was happier than ever. "There's no one else around, and there's so much space for us to have to ourselves. I love the design of the house, too; it's wonderful."

Squalo, who had long-since stopped caring about _houses _of all things, just shrugged. "Yeah…"

"Would you like this house?" Leaning down to place a soft kiss on the younger's cheek, Dino cocked his head slightly. "You can say no and we'll go to the next one; I only want you to be happy."

Squalo's breath hitched in anxiety as the other's hand touched the small of his back, remembering back to all of the abuse Dino was trying so hard to protect him from. He forced himself to calm down before he let his eyes slip closed in resignation; he was just so tired, and he was sick of looking at houses already; as long as Dino liked where they were living, that was all that mattered to him – he could get used to it after a while, maybe come to enjoy it sometime in future.

Was his opinion really worth so much in the end, anyway?

"I don't give a fuck, Bucking Horse; take it if it means so much to you." Shrugging, Squalo looked anywhere but at his boyfriend. "It doesn't matter to me; _you _choose the fucking house."

"Are you sure, Squalo? You're more important to me than a house."

"…" Knowing just how to deal with the older male, the long-haired man said, "…I like the house, now buy it."

A joyful expression crossed the blond's face, as if this had been exactly what he had wanted to hear. He kissed his boyfriend's lips gently, never expecting too much from the weaker male; Squalo had been broken, and it was up to him to pick up the pieces. "We're going to be happy here; I know it."

Squalo shrugged, following the other towards the front door. "…"

"Hey, we should get a couple of pets, Squalo. I know you don't like animals much, but I think you'd like having a pet."

"No cats," Squalo demanded, unable to stop a tidal wave of hatred from washing over him as he recalled Xanxus' cat. "I fucking hate them. Cats were alright until I met Bester… Now I can't _stand _the little fuckers."

"Alright, we won't get a cat," Dino promised in a soft manner. "What about a dog? Would you be okay with a dog?"

"If it's quiet and not going to annoy the shit out of me…"

"We'll get one from a shelter." Dino was sure it was obvious from how much he was gushing, but he really was happier than he could ever remember being; he had looked forward to this for so long, it was a dream come true.

_**~~XX~~**_

Letting out a loud sigh, Squalo sipped at the can of soda in his hand. He was laid back on the couch in Dino's living room, staring at the coffee table with dismay. His dark eyes skimmed over the stack of wrapped gifts on it, knowing he'd have to get down to the hospital soon for Belphegor's birthday; it was just a shame the blond had to spend it in ICU.

"Hey." Looking at Hayato and Takeshi who were sitting close by playing a game of cards, Squalo sat up straight. "Were you two coming to see Bel?"

"Dino said having so many people around him will stress him, so I was going to go with Tsuna later to see him." Takeshi smiled as he cocked his head to the side. "Dino was going to come with us, but I think Gokudera wanted to go with you so it's not so crowded for Belphegor."

"I was going to go now. Get your ass ready if you're coming." Getting up from the couch, Squalo moved to the spare bedroom so that he could grab his car keys. Hayato glared at the Japanese male before he, too, stood up, moving to find his shoes and jacket.

Part of Hayato felt guilty for the way he had treated Belphegor for the ten years they had known each other, knowing he had been rather cruel to the sweet-natured man who only wanted affection. Hopefully the blond would be willing to forgive him and give him a chance to fix things – Hayato didn't want the other to die hating him.

_**~~XX~~**_

As expected, there were already three people seated around Belphegor's hospital room, Lussuria and Fran as well as an indigo-haired woman who called herself Mammon. Fran was sitting on the edge of the hospital bed as he told his friend a story about something that had happened to him at school, knowing not to treat the older male any different; the hurt male was still human, and he had feelings, too. Belphegor was lying back on the bed, fresh bandages around his head, seemingly staring intently at Fran as his right hand opened and closed around the bushy tail of his pet mink. The endotracheal tube was still in his mouth, but he seemed a tad more at ease with it now if his hands had been set free and he wasn't pulling at it anymore.

"Hey, Bel." Squalo slid the door shut behind him, approaching the blond slowly. He dropped three presents on the bed, moving back so that Hayato could give something to the injured man. "Hayato has a gift for you, too. Everyone else will bring you their presents when they come and see you later."

Belphegor didn't move, and it was hard to tell if he was looking at them with his hair hiding his eyes. He did flinch when the silver-haired male held money out to him, almost as if he had expected for the other to hit him, but he made no move to take it.

"It's for you, sweetheart," Lussuria said gently as he grabbed the money from the younger male. He brushed the notes against his charge's hand a few times before the blond's fingers twitched and slowly closed around them instead of the animal's tail. "That's Hayato's present. Are you happy with it?"

The blond didn't reply to these words in any form; he simply lay where he was, the tips of his fingers running across the notes as slow as a snail, as if he couldn't quite feel them the way he was used to.

"I didn't know what you already have, so buy a game or something…" Hayato muttered, turning to look at the wall opposite him; he felt uncomfortable where he was, but he was going to stick it out; he had ignored the older male enough in his life.

"We'll go pick one out when you're feeling better, Bel-chan," Lussuria promised, tugging the money from the younger in a gentle manner. "I'll put this in your bag so you don't lose it. Open Squalo's gifts now, alright?"

Again, Belphegor laid still, rolling his head to face Lussuria a significant amount of seconds later, as if he recognised the man's voice, but didn't understand what had been said to him.

"I'm sorry, hon…" Lussuria dropped his head as he sighed, tapping his fingers against the edge of Belphegor's bed. "He's been very… _slow_… The nurses are worried because he's been moving so little and doesn't seem to understand us if we tell him to do something… All he's moved is his head and his left arm since he's been in hospital, and he's hardly shown much awareness of anyone around him…"

"It's not his fault," Squalo promised, knowing better than to ever blame the blond for this; it would _never _be Belphegor's fault, _ever_. "Just because he has brain damage doesn't mean he's going to be like this for the rest of his life; it can get better if he's getting rest and care."

Lussuria nodded, knowing his friend was right; there was always the chance of recovery for his beloved Belphegor, and he would be there to help the younger every step of the way. Addressing the blond once more, he said, "Want to open your new presents now, Bel-chan?"

Taking the initiative, Lussuria picked up one of the boxes and showed it to his charge. The woman who had been seated so silently throughout all of this reached across, tugging at the wrapping paper just enough to rustle it.

"You can do it, Bel." Mammon was patient, understanding as Fran started doing it as well to try and encourage their friend to tear the paper off. When at last he finally did it, he was rewarded with a soft plush mink that greatly resembled the blond's own pet. Slipping the toy into the crook of her friend's arm, Mammon offered one of her rare smiles she gave only to Belphegor. "Mink will have to go home soon, but now you have this one to keep you safe."

A tiny yawn escaped Belphegor's lips, and when Squalo brushed his bangs back to see that his eyes had slipped closed, the long-haired man gave a sad smile. "Let him sleep; he can open the other presents when he feels up to it."

"The pain killers make him very sleepy," Lussuria explained, leaning down to plant a soft kiss on the injured male's forehead. He caressed a pale cheek, smiling as he watched the other nuzzle his cheek against the toy, before he stood up and embraced Squalo. "Thank you for coming; I know he'd be really happy if he was feeling any better."

Squalo shrugged, clearing his throat. "I'll come and see him again tomorrow… The others will be here later."

"He might still be sleeping, so let them know to give it a few hours."

Nodding, the long-haired man turned to leave, waiting long enough for Hayato to send an uncertain look to the blond before following Squalo from the room.

"Think he'll be okay?" Hayato asked, a hint of concern on his face.

"He's Bel; he might not ever be one-hundred per cent, but fucking hell, he won't let this get the better of him."

Hayato nodded in agreement, knowing just how strong the blond man was; if he had been able to come from a childhood with a history of physical and sexual abuse as severe as it was and still be so happy and playful, he could fight against this as well.

Making a mental note to talk to Lussuria and ask him what he could do to help, Hayato fell silent as he walked beside Squalo; he wasn't so cruel as to make Belphegor feel more unloved and frightened than he already did.


	10. Chapter 10

Within the months that had passed by, Squalo found himself becoming a little happier day-by-day; though he still knew he was suffering from depression – something he wouldn't tell even _Dino _he had, though he knew the blond was already aware of his boyfriend's condition – at least he had stopped his self-harming habit, and though he was too prideful to take antidepressants, he had quickly found that having Dino's love was the only antidepressant he needed in his life.

"I don't know how you can do this shit every day." Squalo sighed as he tipped a scoop of oats into the bucket Dino was mixing. "Fuck giving your horse feed all the time; just let it eat the grass in the paddock."

Dino smiled as he shook his head, adding water to the mixture. "Scuderia has only the best, Squalo; he'll never have plain old grass as long as I'm here to make him his favourite."

"You care too much for these animals." Throwing the scoop back into the plastic bin the oats were kept in, the long-haired man replaced the lid. "They're not humans; don't get too attached to them, I say."

"You've just never had an animal to love before; you'll think differently once you get used to mine." Unfazed by the younger's attitude, Dino picked up the feed bucket and left the storeroom of the stable situated only a minute from the house. "Animals don't break your hearts and hurt you; that's the good thing about them."

"They stink, though." Following the blond to Scuderia's stall, Squalo sighed. "Your fucking turtle stinks like shit, and that dog you got doesn't smell much better."

"Give the dog a bath and you won't notice it." Dino chuckled, reaching out to undo the latch on the stall door. He dropped the bucket to the ground, watching as his horse neighed in appreciation before digging in to his meal. Checking his watch, he ran his fingers through his hair before a gentle smile crossed his face. "Now it's our turn for breakfast. I won't be at work for long today; let's go catch a movie or something when I finish."

"Yeah…" Avoiding the mud puddles the rain last night had created, Squalo looked up to observe his boyfriend. "Lunch first; I want to go to that new café."

"Café it is." Pressing his lips against Squalo's cheek, Dino sent his boyfriend a dopy grin; he would most certainly do _anything _for the smaller man. "Be ready by twelve; I'll pick you up."

Squalo nodded, deciding that reading a book would be a peaceful way to pass time until then. "What do you want for breakfast?"

"Whatever you're making; I'm not fussed." Holding the door open for the younger, Dino continued on. "I'll make the coffees this morning."

Moving straight to the kitchen, Squalo spoke in an absent-minded tone. "Lussuria said he's bringing Bel home today."

"How is he?"

"He's been talking a little bit, but he's pretty slurred, and he still doesn't seem to understand when others speak to him sometimes. He's still getting confused about where he is and what's happening, but the nurses said that might get better with time; he's out of the wheelchair now, so that's good."

"His back is okay?" Dino was hopeful about this, remembering how the younger had only been able to move one leg and was paralysed in the other.

"It's _getting _better." Pulling a pan out from the cupboard, Squalo moved to the fridge. "He's still pissing himself, so Lussuria wants to keep him home for now until he gets a bit more control back; Bel gets really embarrassed about that."

"When are you going to go and see him?" Dino understood that his partner spent a lot of time with Belphegor, and he did his best to stop getting jealous over it; he cared about the fragile man as well, and Belphegor needed all the love and support he could get if he were to get better.

"When Lussuria has him settled back down in his own room; there's no need to stress him out when he's already going to have trouble adjusting to life outside of the hospital again – in a new house, no less."

"That's fair enough." Adding the sugars to the coffee mugs, Dino yawned. He flicked the kettle on before he moved to stand behind Squalo, wrapping his arms around the smaller male in a loose embrace. Kissing the man's cheek, he then whispered, "I love you, Squalo."

Squalo was silent as he stared down at the pancakes he had started to make, still getting used to hearing these words; after eighteen years of abuse, it was almost frightening to suddenly have such love and affection lavished on him – not to say it wasn't unwelcome; Squalo loved his boyfriend's attention more than anything in the world.

Dino didn't mind that the only response he got was the smaller body tensing in his arms; he would wait for as long as Squalo needed before he could say those three words back to him.

Squalo was worth the whole world, after all.

**I don't want to end this fic on this sort of note, but I can't really find the motivation to think of a final arc. I'll mark it as complete for now, but if anyone has any ideas for a final arc, feel free to tell me and I'll see what I can do. **


End file.
